coward
by xxn a n a
Summary: [P3] There's a first time for everything. [April 9th, 2009.]


_coward_  
_

* * *

_

She can breathe again.

But her heart still pounds in her chest, drumming out an insane beat so fast her head spins from the rush. They left the stairs behind, she and her new and confused and half-asleep schoolmate, and even as she locks the roof door behind her and says, mostly to herself, "We'll be safe up here," she knows she's lying; she felt it from the moment Akihiko returned, clutching his bloodstained torso, from the moment Mitsuru's commanding tones told her _oh, God, there's another!_ that she couldn't escape, not this time.

And he's still silent, her friend, silent and bewildered and amiable as ever. Yukari attributes this to his weird personality—he was unlike anyone she'd ever met, after all—until something crosses her terrified mind—

_What if he sees something I don't?  
_  
And it's that thought that prompts her to turn, following his frozen gaze to the far side of the roof. Time seems to stop, her breath hitching in her throat and her heart failing and her eyes welling with disbelieving tears, because _there_—

Forcing itself over the edge of the roof, black-shadow hands clawing at the brick, is a Shadow—not just any damn Shadow; it's bigger than any she'd ever even _thought_ of—holding up a blue-silver mask with death in its gaze and so many sharp knives at its disposal.

But Yukari has to be the brave one. In the past, it was always her that huddled in the back behind Akihiko as if he would save her—but no, he's far too preoccupied with Mitsuru's safety (her, why is always _her_?). But now she's to be depended on, because her dear stupid clueless companion doesn't know an Evoker from a gun and she almost laughs because that's almost as bad as one of the Chairman's jokes—

And she's laughing and crying as she reaches for the object strapped to her thigh. And when she pulls it on herself, one finger pressed to the trigger, the barrel pressed to her forehead, her gaze flickers to _him_, standing there with wide eyes. The Shadows are forgotten in his mind, and the only thing he sees is Yukari with a _gun_ pressed to her head, and she knows what he's thinking because she's thinking it too.

"We call them Shadows," she manages, her voice as steady as if her heart isn't beating a mile a minute, as if she can breathe normally, as if her whole body isn't poised to strike because she's _so damn scared_.

And the horrible monster looms closer, and oh, _God_, it's not the only one, and her grip tightens and she's waiting for the deafening crack that'll tell her it'll end, that soon the Shadows will be nothing but a blue-black stain, that she's not actually a coward, that she's brave, braver than anyone, braver than Mitsuru—

But then the Evoker is flying out of her hand, spiraling in the air, landing at his feet, and Yukari can only stare in horror as she is knocked aside like an unwanted toy. She tumbles to the ground hard, but the pain stealing across her side means nothing, because she knows—oh, she _knows_—

It's him they're after.

And it's over, it's over, she thinks, he's dead because she doomed him, because he doesn't know anything, he's just her stupid and clueless dorm mate, and, besides, what could he do that _she_ couldn't?

But then he picks it up, and she wants to tell him _everything_, but her mouth is frozen shut and she can only watch in half-horrified silence as he raises the almost-gun to his temple and says the one thing Yukari never thought she'd hear from _this_ guy:

_PERSONA.  
_  
And then comes the crack that she's been waiting for. Before she knows it, there's something glowing white, whiter than anything she's ever seen, above his head, and he's smiling, smiling like a maniac, and it's all Yukari can do to hope that even though she doomed them both, they're safe now, with this beautiful creature rising into the sky—

But perhaps things won't go according to plan, won't go according to the Chairman and Mitsuru's calculations, because suddenly the pure white, stark against the black of the Shadows, is disappearing, being swallowed up by another entity entirely, and that silly boy is gripping his head and screaming as if he's dying, and Yukari can't help but wonder if they're doomed after all.

When she sees that monstrous creature rip itself free, she can only think the worst (perhaps it's a Shadow Persona, come to kill us all, she thinks, irrationally), but in a flash of steel and with the metallic screaming of the Shadows echoing in her ears, it's all over, and the pure-white Persona is back again, and the roof is empty save for the limp body of that sweet, genius, life-saving boy…

But then she realises that he's dead to the world on the cold concrete, and Yukari is forced to admit that maybe she's doomed them both after all.

—fin.

* * *

****  
i love p3. LOVE it. fo srs. it's so good. everyone should play it. right? anyhoo, i'm not that mad keen on yukari, but this scene in the beginning still remains great after eighty+ hours of gameplay… so i wrote about it. heehee.  
—n a n a 

p.s. _p3 _is shin megami tensei's. i guess. wait. no? well, it's not mine, anyway.


End file.
